Pick up your dog poop – or PooPrints will find you

Dane Cook, watch out.

The unfunny man who has been fighting with his landlord about cleaning up dog poop could be fingered by the same DNA fingerprinting that troubled O.J. and Bill Clinton.

You let your pooch poop wherever, and pissed-off people will come after you.

BioPet Vet Lab, a Knoxville, Tenn., DNA laboratory, announced today the introduction of PooPrints™, a program designed to encourage dog owners to pick up their dog’s “droppings."

The program is targeted initially to neighborhoods, but could be applied to any municipality that wants to clean up its public areas. The PooPrints™ program recommends that a home owner association (HOA) pass an amendment to its existing covenant that requires all dog owners in the community to have their dogs’ DNA analyzed and filed with Bio-Pet’s "DNA World Pet Registry."

Once the DNA is on file, any dropping found in the public areas of the neighborhood can be sent to BioPet to be analyzed and matched up with the DNA already on file. Once the dog is identified, an email report is sent to the HOA, which then can identify the offending owner. The matching process takes three to four days after receipt to process. With positive proof through the DNA matchup, the association may elect to impose fines on the offenders, which will defray the cost of the program to the HOA.

Three to four days? That’s faster than Canadians can match an E. coli or listeria DNA fingerprint.