Diamondbacks pitcher took the mound with poop in his pants

Archie Bradley, a relief pitcher for the Arizona Diamondbacks, told Yahoo Sports’ MLB Podcast he pooped his pants in a game this season shortly before taking the mound. The tale came up while discussing Adrian Houser, the Milwaukee Brewers pitcher who recently barfed on the field. Bradley had a story that definitely one-upped Houser’s.

“I was warming up to go in a game. I knew I had the next hitter. I knew he was on deck. The at-bat was kinda taking a little bit. As a bullpen guy in these big situations, I call ’em nervous pees, where like I don’t have to pee a lot, but I know I have to pee before I go in the game. I can’t believe I’m telling you this,” Bradley told Yahoo Sports.

“So it’s a 2-2 count, and I’m like, ‘Man, I have to pee. I have to go pee.’ So I run in our bathroom real quick, I’m ready to go. I’m trying to pee and I actually s–t my pants. Like right before I’m about to go in the game, I pooped my pants. I’m like, ‘Oh my gosh.’ I know I’m a pitch away from going in the game, so I’m scrambling to clean myself up. I get it cleaned up the best I can, button my pants up, and our bullpen coach, Mike Fetters, says, ‘Hey, you’re in the game.’ So I’m jogging into the game to pitch with poop in my pants essentially.

“It was the most uncomfortable I’ve ever been on the mound. And I actually had a good inning. I had a clean inning, and I walked in the dugout and I was like, ‘Guys, I just [expletive] myself.’ They didn’t believe me, then the bullpen came in and they’re like, ‘Oh my God, you had to see this.’”

Milwaukee Brewers pitcher vomits twice, stays in game

Baseball is so boring I would barf too (soccer is worse, and it’s next).

Craig Counsell played 16 seasons in the big leagues and has served as the Milwaukee Brewers’ manager for the past four, but he hasn’t seen anything like this.

Brewers relief pitcher Adrian Houser vomited twice near the mound during the eighth inning of the Brewers’ 10-9 loss against the Philadelphia Phillies. Counsell checked on him after both instances, giving the pitcher a bottle of water after the first bout, but the 25-year-old hurler stayed in the game.

Earlier in the day, the Brewers promoted Houser from Triple-A Colorado Springs. The game marked his fifth appearance in the big leagues.

“For Adrian today, it was just kind of a combination of a bunch of factors,” Counsell said. “He wasn’t under the weather at all, but it was an early wake-up call, not enough food, heat, probably a little nerves from getting to the big leagues today.

Phillies manager Gabe Kapler tipped his cap to the rookie.

“I have a lot of respect for anybody who would step behind the mound and throw up and step back on the mound and pitch,” Kapler said.

Yankee pitcher: diarrhea hurt performance

Baseball is more boring than basketball.

But New York Yankee relief pitcher Chan Ho Park did his best to liven things up, claiming that excessive diarrhea hampered his performance over the weekend, and then berating a reporter for allegedly taunting him about it.

PARK: I had a lot of diarrhea. That – That is what you want to know?

REPORTER: Your manager said you were sick.

PARK: Yeah, I had a lot of diarrhea. I had diarrhea and then…. what? What, it’s funny?

REPORTER: No. He thinks its funny.

PARK: The off day – off day I had a lot of diarrhea.. and flu too…a little. A lot of cough. Chest hurts. I feel dehydrated, something like that.