Katie would enthrall us with tales of her days as a sandwich artist at Subway in the Soo.

But nothing like this.

According to Huffington Post, a Subway sandwich artist in Columbus, Ohio admitted today to putting his penis on the store’s sandwich bread and posting the photo on Instagram.

One of the men, Cameron Boggs, admitted on Instagram that “today at work I froze my pee” in a water bottle.

Boggs posted — and later deleted — the most incriminating photo, which depicts a man rubbing his genitalia on foot-long bread. It was posted on Instagram by username “weedpriest” with a caption that reads, “My name is @ianjett and I will be your sandwich artist today.”

In an exclusive interview with HuffPost Weird News, Ian Jett copped to defiling the footlong, but denied doing the dirty deed at work.

“I would never do that at work — it was at home,” he said. “This isn’t something I’d ever do at Subway. It was totally a joke.”

Boggs and Jett were fired on Monday, and a representative from Subway public relations released this statement:

This isolated incident is not representative of SUBWAY Sandwich Artists™. These actions are not tolerated and the franchisee took immediate action to terminate the two employees involved.