Unfunnyman Dane Cook and untalented Jessica Simpson have a better chance of finding future employment in pizza preparation – actually, a ridiculously certain chance — than the two below.

Police in Conover, North Carolina say two Domino’s Pizza workers and home video enthusiasts, 31-year-old Kristy Lynn Hammonds of Taylorsville and 32-year-old Michael Anthony Setzer of Conover (right, not exactly as shown) have each charged with distributing prohibited foods.

The pair (below, exactly as shown when booked) produced some employee training videos for Domino’s Pizza that are available at GoodAsYou, including one of Michael wiping his ass with a sponge and then using it to clean a pan, and another in which Kristy says, "Did you all see that? He just blew a booger on those sandwiches.”