Bikini Bottoms – Health officials today closed the popular eatery “The Krusty Krab,” after finding several violations.

A foodworker, Spongebob Squarepants, who has worked preparing the restaurant’s signature dish, The Krabby Patty, for nearly 10 years was found to be in violation of handwashing code. Inspectors found that during his entire employment history as a fry cook, SpongeBob had never washed his hands.

This fact was discovered after officials reviewed videos of food prep at the Krusty Krab (8 seasons) and found not only no handwashing, but no handwashing station.

Mr. Krab owner of the establishment, said,

“I can’t believe they closed me store. What good would it do if he did was he hands? Spongebob is yellow and porous and he lives under the sea. This is ridiculous.”

Other violations that prompted the closing were: jetsam and flotsam contaminating prep areas, a large school of fish found in dishwasher, and patties served at seawater temperatures.

When contacted Squarepants denied having any responsibility in the closing.

“I love the Krusty Krab. It is my life. I wouldn’t do anything to get Mr. Krab in trouble. It was all Sqidward’s fault. He trained me.” Squarepants said from his home in a rotting undersea pineapple.

Squarepant’s co-worker, Squidward could not be reached for comment.

According to health authorities the restaurant will remain closed until a staff animator draws a handwashing station, animates a proper handwashing sequence for Squarepants and erases the rest of the violations.

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