Waiter, there’s a roach on you: mall food courts overrun by roaches, rodents, mallrats

Australia is an Internet backwater.

In that context, the best thing about Australia is, McDonalds.

Every café and bakery and bookstore, they’ll provide 15 minutes of wi-fi if a purchase is made. Hotels will sell it to guests at $10/hour (I’m not making this up).

Not McDonalds – free wi-fi at many of their stores.

So I’ve been hanging out at a mall in Brisbane’s CBD (central business district) for the past few days, tapping McDonalds’ free wi-fi.

I never hang out at the mall.

Food courts and restaurants in shopping malls are particularly vulnerable to roach and rodent infestations because clothing stores, electronics outlets and other mall standbys aren’t subject to health regulations or inspections, and pests often sneak into malls by hiding in shipping and packaging boxes.

Kevin Chinnia, manager of Montgomery County’s health inspectors, told the Washington Examiner,

"Malls are a wide-open space, and it’s a lot more difficult to manage than if you have a stand-alone structure that you can monitor yourself.”

Virginia and Maryland health inspectors cited roughly three-quarters of all mall food vendors for violating critical health regulations during the past year, according to an analysis of health records at 12 local malls conducted by The Washington Examiner.

The Food and Drug Administration defines critical violations as those posing an "imminent health hazard" to diners. Such violations range from improper hand washing to serving contaminated food, and, depending on the severity of the infraction, can lead to a restaurant losing its food service license.

Local health officials spotted live rodents, rodent droppings or cockroaches — dead and alive, clinging to food preparation machines and even to workers — at more than 10 percent of mall eateries.
 

Waiter, there’s a roach on you: mall food courts overrun by roaches, rodents, mallrats

Australia is an Internet backwater.

In that context, the best thing about Australia is, McDonalds.

Every café and bakery and bookstore, they’ll provide 15 minutes of wi-fi if a purchase is made. Hotels will sell it to guests at $10/hour (I’m not making this up).

Not McDonalds – free wi-fi at many of their stores.

So I’ve been hanging out at a mall in Brisbane’s CBD (central business district) for the past few days, tapping McDonalds’ free wi-fi.

I never hang out at the mall.

Food courts and restaurants in shopping malls are particularly vulnerable to roach and rodent infestations because clothing stores, electronics outlets and other mall standbys aren’t subject to health regulations or inspections, and pests often sneak into malls by hiding in shipping and packaging boxes.

Kevin Chinnia, manager of Montgomery County’s health inspectors, told the Washington Examiner,

"Malls are a wide-open space, and it’s a lot more difficult to manage than if you have a stand-alone structure that you can monitor yourself.”

Virginia and Maryland health inspectors cited roughly three-quarters of all mall food vendors for violating critical health regulations during the past year, according to an analysis of health records at 12 local malls conducted by The Washington Examiner.

The Food and Drug Administration defines critical violations as those posing an "imminent health hazard" to diners. Such violations range from improper hand washing to serving contaminated food, and, depending on the severity of the infraction, can lead to a restaurant losing its food service license.

Local health officials spotted live rodents, rodent droppings or cockroaches — dead and alive, clinging to food preparation machines and even to workers — at more than 10 percent of mall eateries.
 

Barfing, Berkeley and Brisbane

As director Kevin Smith would say, Brisbane, Australia, I’m inside you.
(Smith was inside Sydney last week as part of his touring standup Q&A sessions that get turned into fairly entertaining movies.)

Other than torturing Sorenne for 36 hours of transportation from Manhattan to Brisbane, the only excitement was the ‘Do Not Spit Here’ sign on the garbage can in the Auckland airport, also available in what looked like Chinese and Korean.

But there was a good food-related barf story out of Berkeley, Calif.
Julie R. Smith writes in The Berkeley Independent that she used to sneer at germs, but is now plagued with the “social food” problem, when you’re faced with food that has not been prepared in a state-licensed restaurant with a sanitation rating of A+. Unless I’ve actually watched you crack the eggs or cook the meat (and preferably inserted the thermometer myself), forget it. I’m a nervous wreck.

In 2007 I started throwing up at work, which led to throwing up in the parking lot, which became throwing up in my car (a co-worker was driving, thank God), which segued into throwing up all over the ER admittance desk.

After barfing on a nurse and two gurneys, the fun began: I started literally foaming at the mouth. Every time I retched, foam flew far and wide. My co-worker, a staff photographer who served in Viet Nam, was convinced I had rabies.

Two hours later, after shots and IVs and heated blankets, the ER doc announced that I appeared to have norovirus. “Nora who?” I asked fuzzily. …

A year ago, I returned from a trip to North Carolina feeling fine. At 1 a.m. I woke drenched in sweat, fell out of bed and threw up on the dog. Then the other end of my digestive system decided to join the party.

Five hours later I was again in the ER with dry heaves and a nifty potassium drip. The doctor asked if I’d eaten anything “that didn’t taste right.”

“Not really, but I pigged out all weekend,” I admitted. “Chicken, deviled eggs, pasta salad, fried fish, pie, baked potato with sour cream. Too much rich food, I guess.”

He shook his head. “When you eat something that doesn’t agree with you, you throw it up and life goes on,” he said. “This is food poisoning. You ate something that was contaminated.”

So there you have it: Norovirus and food poisoning. Life’s too short to spend it throwing up. Pass me the meat thermometer.

Carolina defeats Jersey with two goals in last minute shocker

I was a Carolina Hurricanes hockey fan even before Chapman moved to NC State in Raleigh.

The team is run by former goalie, Detroit Red Wings executive and Beeton, Ontario, native, Jim Rutherford, who’s a few years younger than my parents but went to the same high school in Alliston, Ontario.

When Carolina unexpectedly won the Stanley Cup in 2006, I was hooked. Rutherford brought the Cup back to Beeton; Amy bought me a Carolina Hurricanes coffee mug at the Charlotte airport. I still use it every morning.

Chapman and family went to one of the playoff games this year – we could never do that in Toronto, even if they did magically make the playoffs (and that’s the future of their son, Jack, right, at a ‘Canes game).

So tonight, with 1:20 left and Carolina trailing 3-2, facing who many call the best goaltender in the game or ever – I’ll always defer to Tony Esposito of the Chicago Black Hawks — the ‘Canes pop in two goals to take the series.

I’ll miss film director Kevin Smith’s twitters of his beloved New Jersey Devils, and Kevin, don’t kill yourself.

Oh, and this has nothing to do with food safety. I just miss playing hockey.