Dude, the urine sample ain’t going to tell anyone anything. It’s a poop sample you need to give the doctor. Because, as they correctly say on the TV show Scrubs, Everything Comes Down to Poo (see below).

Jack Black, who’s been in a gazillion movies but is best remembered by me for his scene-stealing effort in 2000’s High Fidelity (right, exactly as shown) has been bedridden for a week – after contracting a mystery vomiting virus.

"Just last weekend, I thought I was knocking on death’s door. I have never had this thing before where it has to go out of you in all directions. I’m not going into the grisly details, but it was explosive. Simultaneous explosions. I was wondering whether it was the sushi I ate or whether I caught it from someone and the doctor said it was the latter."

Black, who was at home with his wife and two young sons, was terrified he might pass on his condition to little Sam, three, and Thomas, 12 months: "It’s harder when you’ve got two babies, because you’re exploding, then you’re washing your hands ’cause you don’t want to get them sick either. It’s a constant battle to stay clean."

And the star admits the most embarrassing incident came after he had seen a doctor, who ordered him to hand over a urine sample for testing.