Everyone’s got a camera: Chicago bus drivers caught on video urinating, defecating on buses, face little action

Do it in the country they like it just fine, do it in the city it’s a $20 fine,

That stench on your CTA bus? That puddle of urine? Turns out riders aren’t always the ones to blame.

The Chicago Transit Authority has disciplined three bus drivers who were caught relieving themselves on their routes in the past few years, according to CTA records obtained by the Chicago Sun-Times.

In one bizarre, on-duty incident in September, a driver defecated on his bus after pulling over — busted by onboard surveillance camera footage.

The driver told his bosses he couldn’t hold it because he’d eaten “bad tacos.” CTA officials didn’t buy his story, according to a transit source who says the incident appeared to be “premeditated.” The agency initiated termination proceedings.

The source, who works for the CTA, says the official records don’t come close to revealing the extent of the problem, saying it’s fairly common for bus drivers to urinate or otherwise let loose on or near their buses and let the blame, and cleanup, fall to others.

“I can tell you it’s dozens we’re aware of,” the source says, adding that incidents are often ignored by supervisors or “classified as something else” in paperwork to obscure the offense. “This happens frequently, honestly. . . . There’s really no good excuse for it.”

Boys should urinate outside to stimulate the compost pile; girls, your pee is too acidic

Sometimes, when I wake up in the middle of the night, and don’t want to disturb Amy and Sorenne in our small space, I’ll go pee off the back deck.

I also don’t flush the toilet when I pee, unless I’ve eaten asparagus. Cameron Diaz would approve and say I’m saving the planet.

Gardeners at a National Trust property in Cambridgeshire are urging people to relieve themselves outdoors to help gardens grow greener.

A three-metre long "pee bale" has been installed at Wimpole Hall.

Head gardener Philip Whaites is urging his male colleagues to pee on the straw bale to activate the composting process on the estate’s compost heap.

He said the "pee bale" is only in use out of visitor hours, since "we don’t want to scare the public".

"There are obvious logistical benefits to limiting it to male members of the team, but also male pee is preferable to women’s, as the male stuff is apparently less acidic."

"Adding a little pee just helps get it all going; it’s totally safe and a bit of fun too."

As David Wilcox sang some 30 years ago,

Do it in the country they like it just fine
Do it in the city it’s a $20 fine
Hot hot papa