Scientists swallowed LEGOs to find out how long it takes to poop one out

Why use scientists? They could have used any one of my five daughters or three grandsons, whom I am sure have all swallowed Lego at one time or another.

James Chrisman of Thrillist writes an article published in The Journal of Pediatrics and Child Health last week states, on average, the amazing journey of a small yellow plastic head through the human body took 1.71 days. One of these vessels never appeared again, though. It could show up at any day now (they, presumably, won’t be looking for it, so we’ll never know) or maybe, as the blog post suggests, “one day many years from now, a gastroenterologist performing a colonoscopy will find it staring back at him.” 

(For those following up on my recent colonoscopy, which several readers have in private messages, I can say the doc removed a large polyp and two small ones, all were benign, my prostate seems fine and no Lego was found).

As for the concerns this study was meant to address, with regard to kids swallowing these toys, the paper said: “A toy object quickly passes through adult subjects with no complications. This will reassure parents, and the authors advocate that no parent should be expected to search through their child’s feces to prove object retrieval.”

Some objected to the study on Twitter and asserted, “It’s funny and interesting but wrong patient group, single type of FB, tiny sample size. It’s not EBM [evidence-based medicine] and should not change practice.”

To which the authors retorted: “Of course it’s not, it’s a bit of fun in the run up to Xmas.” Consider that the paper used as metrics the Stool Hardness and Transit (SHAT) score and the Found and Retrieved Time (FART) score.

It’s not the colonoscopy diet: People say Burger King’s new black slushie turned their poop weird colors

Tomorrow morning, a doctor is going to stick a camera up my ass.

I’ve been on the pre-colonoscopy diet for three days now, and today is the broken-jaw version I had when I was 18, but worse.

No protein. No fruits or veg.

Just clear liquids. I have a bunch of chicken stock I made last night.

I live in sub-tropical Brisbane which has a fabulous supply of produce and proteins, and I’m eating Jello.

Later today I have to take some colon blow stuff which involves being on the toilet for about 4 hours.

But at least my poop won’t be black.

Dustin Nelson of Thrillist writes that coal-black slushies are one of Burger King’s Halloween specials this year. It’s a Frozen Fanta Scary Black Cherry, and it’s seriously dark. The drink has attracted an unexpected amount of attention not for its flavor, but for, uh, the impact of its dark hue. In fact, people have been heading to Burger King just to get a good look at the, umm, effects. 

Maybe people couldn’t resist the intestinal challenge of an artificially black treat or maybe they remember the unique results of eating that black-bunned Whopper a couple years back. Either way, people are grabbing the cherry treat and reporting on social media that it turns your mouth intensely black. Oh, and it also turns your poop a fun color. Though, no one really agrees on a single color. People have said their results have been black, green, and even blue. Whatever the individual result, it’s not on your usual spectrum of poop colors.

Asked for comment, a Burger King representative said, “For those who want to know, try it and find out.”

My female doctor also had a great suggestion for checking my prostrate, cause I’m of that age too.

She said she could do it while I was passed out for the colonoscopy.

Sign me up.

Another good Brantford boy, Phil Hartman, who was tragically killed by his third wife, is featured below.