I say the first rule of public health is, don’t eat poop.

And have fewer sick people.

Bureaucrats say the first rule of public health is, cover your ass (no, not like that) so that the department comes out smelling all pretty and not like poop.

So after 21 people die and a bunch more got sick from listeria in Maple Leaf deli meats, what do Canadian bureaucrats focus on? Covering their asses.

The heads of three federal agencies pivotal to last summer’s listeriosis crisis (right, not exactly as shown) want a damning report by Ontario’s top public health official "clarified and corrected."

The most senior officials at the Canadian Food Inspection Agency, the Public Health Agency of Canada and Health Canada demanded the revisions in a recent letter to Dr. David Williams, Ontario’s acting chief medical officer of health.

Williams also noted that almost a month elapsed between the first listeriosis death last summer and a widespread recall of suspect Maple Leaf deli meats.

The letter suggests that criticism is unfair.

The he-said-she-said may be mildly entertaining for bureaucrats– in both official languages —  but does nothing to ensure that fewer people barf in the future.

Instead, the federal triumverate of see-no-evil, hear-no-evil, speak-no-evil could focus on:

• making listeria test results public in a timely manner;

• providing compelling information to at-risk populations, especially pregnant women and old folks, that maybe they shouldn’t be eating products at risk for listeria contamination (cause Michael McCain says it’s everywhere); and,

• provide clear guidelines on how outbreaks of foodborne illness are investigated and at what point sufficient evidence exists to warn the pubic.