More than you ever wanted to know about my colon

I just had my first solid poop in three days.

After consuming the 210 grams of Glycoprep-C dissolved in 3 litres of water, I can confidently say the stuff works.

It felt like there was a powerwash hose at the top of my colon and every five minutes for about six hours, it turned on and emptied out my ass.

The other thing at the top of my colon was a 3 cm polyp which was removed and sent off for diagnostics (right, that’s not my ass; and it’s called barfblog.com for a reason).

Doc said it would have turned cancerous, if it hasn’t already.

At least my prostate is fine.

We have great medical care in Australia.

I should have been dead years ago.

Much thanks to Amy for being in my messed up life.

How will this be inspected? Best will market food safety; new food apps could see home cooks takeout takeaways

No one invites me for dinner; they know I’m a food safety asshole (who carries a tip-sensitive digital thermometer in his backpack).

sp.food.safety.assholes.oct.13I don’t like charity cooking, I don’t like when I don’t know how the food was prepared, and I don’t like sausage sizzles, apparently part of Australian culture.

I want to celebrate food, I want to eat and share stories, but there are so many tales every day of people messing up the basics.

When we went to a (ice) hockey tournament a couple of months ago, I volunteered to call up the local health types and ensure a sausage sizzle was OK.

Sure, as long as it’s for charity.

I had to take a 16 hour course to coach little kids in hockey in Australia (because my Canadian experience didn’t count) but needed nothing to prepare food that could sicken those same little kids.

So this seems like a bad idea.

We could soon be bidding farewell to the fish and chip shop and saying ta-ta to the takeaway Thai if a plan to transform the way we eat, in the same way Uber has shaken up how we travel, takes off.

food.safety.asshole.schaffnerAnd, industry experts have warned that if restaurants don’t find a way to respond to the challenge they will be the losers as Australians turn to their next door neighbours for dinner rather than head out to the local takeaway.

However, there are concerns bureaucratic red tape could halt any moves to create a new future of food in its tracks.

Last week, 100 of Australia’s ‘foodie-prenuers’ gathered in Sydney for HackFood, a meeting place to thrash out the most innovative ideas to transform the food industry.

One of the most promising initiatives to emerge for the gathering, and one that is already in development, could see Australians turning their backs on takeout forever.

“It’s the UberX and Airbnb of home cooked meals,” said Jennifer Callaghan of the HomeCooked app she has created with partner Josh MacNamara.

Ms Callaghan said there were currently three options for people to eat: prepare at home, eat at a restaurant or order takeout. The new app added a fourth choice — local people cooking dinner for you.

“A home cook could say I’m going to make 10 servings of Thai green curry on a certain date and the person wanting to eat could flick through and see what’s cooking in their local area.

“You could request and pick it up then or order ahead for another day,” said Ms Callaghan who envisaged busy professionals stopping by their neighbours for takeaway containers of Indian goat curry or mac and cheese on the way home from work.

dp.food.safety.asshole.oct.13While similar apps, such as MyTable, are available in countries such as the US and India, she said no such technology existed in Australia.

According to IBISWorld the Australian takeaway food industry has annual revenues of $4bn and employs around 15,000 people with Eagle Boys and Domino’s some of the biggest players.

The business partners had done research that showed 80 per cent of people in inner city neighbourhoods would be open to buying a home cooked meal from a neighbour as an alternative to a takeaway.

Students and stay-at-home mums might jump at the idea of cooking for other local people, said Ms Callaghan who hope to launch HomeCooked in early 2016.

However, the challenges to this new way of eating are significant with established players unlikely to welcome a digital newcomer disrupting the status quo and food safety regulations designed around traditional food outlets.

Last year, Bunbury schoolgirl Chelsea-lee Downes found her roadside stall selling lemonade and cupcakes shut down by the local council because the food was produced in a domestic rather than commercial kitchen.

All cooks would have to take out insurance and there would be a “verification process” similar to that used by Airbnb, said Ms Callaghan. But she admitted the legality of selling food cooked up in a standard kitchen was unclear. “It’s a grey area and we’re talking to people in the industry around the ways of overcoming those areas but there has been a paradigm shift in how we access transport, lifestyle, and now food and things are changing no matter what,” she said.

you're.just.an.asshole.dudeManaging principal of food compliance specialists FoodLegal, Joe Lederman, told news.com.au regulations covering food preparation varied from place to place. “It’s a question of attitude, some regulators are in the business of encouraging new business and some are hostile to anyone who’s not commercial.

“It’s a similar experience with taxis, in some places they are more open and others take the approach it’s not the way forward and should not be done.”

Food safety assholes: man pleads guilty in PCA salmonella outbreak case

In 2009, over 700 people were sickened and nine died from Salmonella Typhimurium linked to peanut paste and butter produced by the Peanut Corporation of America.

An auditor with the Manhattan, Kansas, based American Institute of Baking was responsible for evaluating the safety of products produced by PCA. The peanut company knew in advance when the auditors were arriving. “The overall food safety level of this facility was considered to be: SUPERIOR,” the auditor concluded in his March 27, 2008, report for AIB. State inspectors also found only minor problems.

vonnegut-assholeSamuel Lightsey was the manager of Peanut Corporation of America’s plant in Blakely, Georgia, when an outbreak of salmonella traced to the company’s peanuts killed nine people and sickened hundreds in 2009. Lightsey and three others were later charged with scheming to manufacture and ship tainted peanuts.

Lightsey faces a possible fine of up to $250,000 and maximum prison terms of one to 20 years on each of the seven charges. Prosecutors recommended in a plea agreement that Lightsey serve no more than six years in prison. He will be sentenced at a later date.

Also charged in the case are Peanut Corporation owner Stewart Parnell, his food broker brother Michael Parnell, and Georgia plant quality assurance manager Mary Wilkerson.

The indictment unsealed in February 2013 says the company misled its customers about the existence of salmonella in its product, even when lab tests showed it was present. It says the co-workers even fabricated certificates accompanying some of the peanut shipments saying they were safe when tests said otherwise.

The company later went bankrupt.

Toxoplasmosis linked to personality changes

Amy says I can be an asshole.

She’s not the only one; but I.can blame it on the toxo.

Better than blaming parents.

Tori Rodriguez writes in Scientific American that people who feel sociable or reckless may have toxoplasmosis, an infection caused by the microscopic parasite Toxoplasma gondii, which the CDC estimates has infected about 22.5 percent of Americans older than 12 years old.

Researchers tested participants for T. gondii infection and had them complete a personality questionnaire. They found that both men and women infected with T. gondii were more extroverted and less conscientious than the infection-free participants. These changes are thought to result from the parasite’s influence on brain chemicals, the scientists write in the May/June issue of the European Journal of Personality.

“Toxoplasma manipulates the behavior of its animal host by increasing the concentration of dopamine and by changing levels of certain hormones,” says study author Jaroslav Flegr of Charles University in Prague, Czech Republic.

In the new study, a pattern appeared in infected men: the longer they had been infected, the less conscientious they were. This correlation supports the researchers’ hypothesis that the personality changes are a result of the parasite, rather than personality influencing the risk of infection. Past studies that used outdated personality surveys also found that toxoplasmosis-related personality changes increased with the length of infection.