Tag Archives: Airplane

Nosestretcher alert: me?

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I did not invent the phrase “nosestretcher alert.”

Anyone who knows me long enough soon begins to realize I have about 187 snappy comebacks or phrases, primarily borrowed from sophomoric movies.

So while I’m grateful to Vicky Boyd of The Packer for saying barfblog.com is one of her must-reads, I have to clarify the phrase “nosestretcher alert” originated with Frank magazine, a must-read for me in Canada in the 1990s.

Frank, modeled after Private Eye in the U.K., skewered and mocked the rich, political and supposedly media savvy.

From wiki:

Frank often incorporates custom jargon and phrasing in articles. Examples include referring to news readers as “bingo callers,” public relations staff were referred to as “bum boys” and “fartcatchers.” When the magazine alluded to two famous Canadians having sexual relations, it would refer to them as “horizontal mambo partners.”

Frank also referred to many of Canada’s elite in a derogatory manner based upon their personalities, name, or other unique characteristics. Prime Ministers were always referred to by nicknames such as Byron Muldoon or Jean Crouton rather than their real names.

I had forgotten about bingo caller and fart catcher; I’ll have to start using them again – in honor of Frank.

Visitors to Cuba returning to Canada with gastrointestinal illnesses

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The Ottawa Citizen reports three flights from Cuba to Canada had at least 39 passengers returning with a variety of gastrointestinal illnesses.

The Public Health Agency of Canada said Friday two flights that arrived in Ottawa from Cuba on Tuesday and Friday had 19 passengers suffering from symptoms such as vomiting, diarrhea, nausea and fever, while a Thursday flight from Cuba to Toronto had 20 passengers suffering from the same symptoms.

“In all cases, quarantine officers assessed the situation, determined that the passengers did not have a disease listed in the Quarantine Act and thus did not pose a significant public health risk and passengers were released,” said Sylwia Gomes in an email reply to the Citizen.

The sick passengers on the three flights came from at least four different resorts, she said.

Early Friday morning, an Air Transat flight from Cuba carrying 260 passengers was detained at the Ottawa International Airport after 12 people complained of a stomach illness. The ill passengers were all from the same resort, so the concern forced Ottawa’s fire HAZMAT team to respond to the early morning incident.

Passengers were assessed and then cleared after nearly 20 minutes of examination, said a spokesman for the Ottawa ambulance service.

Crisis management at 40,000 feet

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Manhattan (Kansas) to Dallas, Dallas direct to Brisbane, what could be easier. Save hours off the door-to-door travel and bestest of all, no rechecking in at the dreaded Los Angeles International airport.

Four hours later, we’re on the tarmac at LAX.

About 90 minutes into the flight, an elderly woman sitting in the row behind me looked like she had lost consciousness … she looked dead. Stewards were summoned an oxygen was applied. Nothing.

Then a message came from the cockpit that no one on a plane wants to hear: not the, “Do any passengers have experience flying a jumbo jet,” but the other, “Are there any medical professional aboard the flight?”

What looked like a husband and wife time of physicians attended to the woman.

After about 10 minutes she seemed to be revived. They located a bunch of medical papers and medications she was travelling with, and quite professionally brought the woman back from the brink.

But, rather than risk flying the Pacific Ocean, the plane was diverted to LAX and paramedics arrived to take the woman to the hospital. And then we had to go to New Zealand because the crew had reached the legal maximum for hours working (20). So arrangements were made for a new crew and flights in New Zealand to finish the journey to Australia. Hours saved now hours gone.

Up until that point I had been finishing marking final assignments for my food safety risk analysis students, which included a crisis management component. The best producers, processors and retailers are trained and prepared to handle crisis situations.

Later in the flight I spoke with one of the stewards and asked him how much they were prepared for this sort of ting, especially on a schedule 16-hour flight.
He told me they have standard procedures and there is a medical professional on the ground at all times and is the only person who can authorize in-air treatment. So the doctors who happened to be on the place were providing observations and carrying out instructions

I asked the steward how often passengers had died on flights he was working; he gave me a couple of examples.

Stuff happens: be prepared.
 

Shirley you can’t be serious; food safety wonks speak

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Canadian actor Leslie Nielsen may have died Sunday, but the slapstick continues to flow from Washington.

On the same day the Senate passed its version of a food safety bill, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration gave ‘Salmonella Jack’ DeCoster permission to once again sell eggs at retail.

As a consumer, am I supposed to have faith that FDA has checked out DeCoster’s operations, and even more faith that FDA may soon have more tools at their food safety disposal?

What if I want to avoid DeCoster’s eggs, because he has a bad track record and will soon be slip-slidin’ away to the lowest common denominator?

Nothing.

Sure, buy organic/natural/local/sustainable, but that’s got nothing to do with the kind of microbiologically safe food I’m looking for. Big egg farms don’t mean dirty egg farms.

Why not unleash the power of food safety marketing and let consumers choose at retail.

Repeated outbreaks have shown that all food is not safe: there are good producers and bad producers, good retailers and bad retailers. As a consumer, I have no way of knowing.

Tell consumers about salmonella-testing programs meant to reduce risks; put a URL on egg cartons so those who are interested can use the Internet or even personal phones to see how the eggs were raised. Boring press releases in the absence of data only magnify consumer mistrust.

Food producers should truthfully market their microbial food safety programs, coupled with behavioral-based food safety systems that foster a positive food safety culture from farm-to-fork. The best producers and processors will go far beyond the lowest common denominator of government and should be rewarded in the marketplace.

Government has a role, but there are too many outbreaks and too many sick people. It’s time for producers, retailers and restaurants to market microbial food safety and compete using safety as a selling point.

Marketing food safety at retail has the additional benefit of enhancing a food safety culture within an organization – if we’re boasting about this stuff I guess we really better wash our hands and keep the poop out of food. Maintaining a food safety culture means that operators and staff know the risks associated with the products or meals they produce, know why managing the risks is important, and effectively manage those risks in a demonstrable way. In an organization with a good food safety culture, individuals are expected to enact practices that represent the shared value system and point out where others may fail. By using a variety of tools, consequences and incentives, businesses can demonstrate to their staff and customers that they are aware of current food safety issues, that they can learn from others’ mistakes, and that food safety is important within the organization.

But, on to the nosestretchers:

“This is authoritarian stuff we are dealing with–agents able to march in and rummage through your business materials without even having to wave a search warrant–so you’ve got to be nimble, and creative. Food producers in places like Rumania, Poland, Russia and Cuba have had lots more practice than we have, so it’s time to do some catch-up.”
The Complete Patient writes in a piece titled, If You’re in the Food Business, Better Begin Preparing Now to Avoid the FDA SWAT Teams.

“This legislation means that parents who tell their kids to eat their spinach can be assured that it won’t make them sick.”
Senator Tom Harkin, a Democrat from Iowa who, as chairman of the Senate health committee, shepherded the legislation through months of negotiations.

Glenn Beck suggested that the measure was a government ruse to raise the price of meat and convert more consumers to vegetarianism.

“This is history folks, watch live on CSPAN.”
“Tallying the votes… the suspense is killing me.”
“The Senate has surpassed the number of votes needed to pass the most sweeping change to food safety laws in 7 decades.”
A variety of bloggers functioning as stenographers

"Size correlates directly with risk. When we have the kind of E. coli outbreaks we’ve got where it impacts many, many, many states and thousands of families, that’s risk. When we’ve got a producer that’s raising lettuce that’s looking at the guy who’s going to eat it right square in the eye, that’s a different level of risk entirely."
Sen. JonTester

Most apt statements:

“Senate passes S. 510 Food Safety Modernization Act after Dierksen cafeteria offers imported steak tartare and raw spinach lunch special.”
Chris Clayton, blogger

"If this bill was on the books, it wouldn’t have changed anything about the recall. Our own standards are already higher."
ConAgra Foods spokesman Jeff Mochal

Jackass dumps toilet paper on students from plane

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Never was a fan of the Jackass movies, even though Weezer did the theme to Jackass 3-D which opens Friday.

In an apparent outtake of the new movie, Couriermail reports that an unidentified pilot is believed to have flown over Westwood Regional Middle School in New Jersey, three separate times, releasing the soggy toilet paper onto an athletic field, trees, a school building and the ground nearby ,

There were no injuries reported, and the only evidence left of the incident was a few pieces of paper stuck high in the trees on the property, the report said.
 

A day in the life of an airline meal

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AOL Travel reported on how those airplane flights that still serve food actually go about preparing the food (especially after the lousy inspection reviews compiled by USA Today).

AOL decided to track a single airline meal, from the time it is planned and placed on an airline’s menu to the moment it arrives at the passenger’s seat.

Or, given the bad press for Gate Gourmet and their bad food safety inspections, the story was a standard PR placement. But some elements of interest:

6 p.m. The passenger confirms her seat assignment – 31A – for tomorrow’s flight from Chicago to London. She doesn’t know it, but her meal choice is getting ready for takeoff, too.

She’s going to select grilled chicken breast with orange sesame ginger sauce, served with jasmine white rice and a side of broccoli and carrots. It’s taken a year of development for this dish to make it to the United menu, with three teams of 35 people considering menu items, procuring ingredients, testing and tasting food, and monitoring the quality of the product to the passenger.

Dishes for United’s Flight 958, which departs in 18 hours, are getting washed at Gate Gourmet catering, right on O’Hare property. In a green effort to conserve resources and reduce waste, United doesn’t have a lot of disposable products, according to Stuart Benzal, United’s managing director of onboard global product. Instead, bowls, plates, cups and other utensils are hauled off the aircraft after each flight and sent to one of the 52 kitchens that United uses around the world.

Most kitchens operate 24 hours. "After 10 at night, it goes into equipment processing (mode)" says Benzal, which means cleaning hundreds of plates, bowls, cups, saucers, trays and utensils for the next day.

2 a.m. Alison Hough, director of product planning, planned and ordered chicken for this meal months ago. She knows, based on customer preferences and numbers, how many chickens to order and send to the caterers. Her team ensures that there is fresh, quality product for all the major components of the meal, while smaller detail items like seasonings are covered by the catering kitchen.

5:30 a.m. Chef Danielle Nahal and her team of eight to 12 cooks and food handlers, arrive at Gate Gourmet to begin the day’s preparations. The kitchen will be making lots of meals today for flights to London, Asia, Amsterdam and Paris, so the prep work covers 250-300 servings of each entrée. Though the kitchen is very large, it is also very busy and crowded. Nearly 300 people work on a shift, and the kitchen runs 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

It’s very cold in the kitchens to ensure food safety and food integrity. "You can’t just walk into a kitchen," Benzal says. "You fill out a health form, go to a wash station and wash your hands, use disinfectant, wear a lab coat; your hair and head are covered. There’s even a face mask," he says. "You look more like a surgeon than someone preparing to chop salads." This chilled environment is maintained throughout the production.

6.00 a.m. Twelve hours before flight time, United delivers the final counts and order for meals, including the chicken with orange sesame glaze. Gate Gourmet accepts the order and begins processing to the count specifications. "We’re producing in very large batches," says Chef Nahal. "Sauces are made by the gallon. Vegetables are done by the pound – about 500 pounds [for one day’s meal preparation]."

Executive Chef Gerry Gulli started testing the flavors and sauces for his mandarin chicken nearly a year ago. Since United likes to change out the menus every three months, and needs to have at least two economy meal choices per flight, Chef Gulli is a busy guy. The chefs must also adjust recipes for the diminished taste buds people experience while in flight. "We compensate for that with cooking techniques, using bold flavors and marinades," says Chef Nahal.

9:00 a.m. The grilled chicken breast with orange sesame ginger glaze is being prepared according to recipe instructions. Color photos guide the preparers, so they know exactly how the plate should appear before it arrives at seat 31A.

11.00 a.m. The plated meal for the passenger in 31A, along with nearly 250 other entrées, gets loaded onto trays. Trays are inserted into trolleys, where they sit in a blast chiller until called for delivery to the aircraft.

2:30 p.m. The truck for Flight 958 delivers the meals for the flight, including the chicken with orange sesame glaze destined for seat 31A today. Each high-loader truck takes a trolley of trays, and the driver puts them onto the aircraft. The meals fit into a refrigerated compartment. It will take the driver about 30 minutes to get to the aircraft, then another 45 minutes to an hour to load the meals onto the plane.

6:00 p.m. Flight 958 takes off, bound for London. Flight attendants take economy class meal orders from the three selections: mandarin chicken, a pasta dish, and a beef meal. The passenger in seat 31A chooses the chicken with orange sesame sauce.

7:00 p.m. Flight attendants are busy heating the fully cooked but cold meals in a convection oven. The convection oven circulates the hot air and ensures meals are heated evenly and at the same temperature. It takes about 20 minutes to bring them to dining temperature, and then they are loaded onto carts to head down the aisle.

8:00 p.m. The orange chicken with sesame ginger glaze arrives at seat 31A, hot, colorful, and prepared to Chef Gulli’s specifications.

Airplane! If the food is safe, post an inspection grade and brag about it

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The greatest fictional food poisoning on an airplane first premiered in 1980 in the satirical movie, Airplane!.

“We had a choice (for dinner) of steak or fish.”
“Yes, yes, I remember, I had lasagna.”

Everyone who had the fish becomes violently ill and a passenger is forced to land the plane.

But food poisoning can be nasty in real life, if you’re on a flight that still happens to serve something approximating food.

USA Today tomorrow has an editorial questioning the sanitary conditions at some of the catering facilities that provide 100 million meals yearly to U.S. and foreign airlines at U.S. airports.

Six months ago, U.S. Food and Drug Administration inspectors say they found live cockroaches and roach carcasses "too numerous to count" — as well as ants, flies and debris and workers handling food with bare hands — at the Denver facility of the world’s largest airline caterer, LSG Sky Chefs. Samples from a kitchen floor tested positive for Listeria, a bacteria that can cause serious and sometimes fatal infections.

USA Today’s Gary Stoller, who obtained the inspections from the FDA, also found reports of violations at two other major airline caterers, Gate Gourmet and Flying Food Group.

The editorial says airlines can also do their part by demanding safe, sanitary food from caterers or refusing to do business with them.

In response, Jim Fowler, executive director of the International Flight Services Association, writes in a manner befitting a kindergarten teacher (no offense, mom) that “readers may be surprised to learn that the food served on airplanes is crafted in catering kitchens that operate with more stringent safety processes than those in many restaurants and fast-food establishments. The state-of-the-art standards followed voluntarily by airline caterers were first developed by NASA, whose guidelines are stringent and in some instances actually exceed other state or federal health requirements.”

Yes, it’s called HACCP, explain the lousy inspection reports.

“The incidents reported by USA Today were isolated.”

So the IFSA would be all for open and transparent grading of airline food safety, just as restaurants in most major cities are now embracing?
 

Airplanes serve food? Safety of what is served questioned

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It isn’t even food as I understand the definition. Which is why I always bring my own.

Dr. Hannibal Lecter on the merits of airplane food.

Who buys food on airplanes anymore? It’s ridiculously expensive and crap.

But in furthering honoring the 30th anniversary of the release of the movie, Airplane, today’s USA Today has a story about the sorry state of food on airplanes.

Six months ago, Food and Drug Administration inspectors say, they found live roaches and dead roach carcasses "too numerous to count" inside the Denver facility of the world’s largest airline caterer, LSG Sky Chefs.

They also reported finding ants, flies and debris, and employees handling food with bare hands. Samples from a kitchen floor tested positive for Listeria, a bacteria that can cause serious and sometimes fatal infections in young children, the elderly and people with weakened immune systems. It’s also dangerous to pregnant women.

LSG Sky Chefs, which annually provides 405 million meals worldwide for more than 300 airlines, says conditions at the Denver plant didn’t meet company standards. It took immediate measures to remedy the problems, says spokeswoman Beth Van Duyne.

The Denver facility is one of many catering operations that provide food to airlines where FDA inspectors saw unsanitary and unsafe conditions in the last two years, according to inspection reports obtained through the Freedom of Information Act by USA Today.

The reports show "caterers for many of the nation’s air carriers are contaminating foods in a number of ways," says Roy Costa, a consultant and public health sanitarian who voluntarily agreed to review the reports.
 

Surely you can’t be serious; I am serious — and don’t call me Shirley; Airplane turns 30; movie spotlighted risks of food poisoning

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“The life of everyone on board depends upon just one thing: finding someone back there who can not only fly this plane, but who didn’t have fish for dinner.”

The nominal plot of the 1980 movie, Airplane! recounts the efforts of a stalwart flight crew trying to land a commercial airliner after spoiled fish incapacitates most of the crew and passengers.

I first saw the movie Airplane at the drive-inn on the edge of Brantford, Ontario (that’s in Canada) when it came out in 1980.

I thought it was stupid.

But that’s because I was more interested in the blond next to me.

When I saw Airplane again, I thought it was hilarious.

I’ve seen the movie so many times, I can better recite the lines from Airplane than nerds who do Monty Python sketches. And Leslie Neilson, good Canadian that he is, stole the show (he’s from Saskatchewan; that’s in Canada, his brother was deputy Prime Minister of Canada for awhile in the 1980s).

As reported in the N.Y. Times today, within months of its release in July 1980, Airplane! became the highest-grossing comedy in box office history, a distinction that held until “Ghostbusters” came along in 1984. And it remains one of the most influential. Its anything-goes slapstick and furious pop culture riffs can be seen in the 20-gags-a-minute relentlessness of “The Simpsons,” “South Park” and “Family Guy” and grab-bag big-screen parodies like “Epic Movie, “Date Movie” and the “Scary Movie” franchise.

Back in 1979, when “Airplane!” was being shot on Universal’s back lot in Los Angeles, it didn’t seem like a potential blockbuster. The three Wisconsin-born filmmakers were rather amazed that anybody would give them a budget — and $3.5 million at that — to make such a lark, one that had no big stars. A follow-up to their 1977 cult film “The Kentucky Fried Movie,” which they had written, this was an extended riff on “Zero Hour!,” a glum thriller from 1957 about an imperiled aircraft that set the template for the next half-century’s worth of disaster pictures.

Food poisoning can be awesome.

Kevin Smith got kicked off a Southwest airplane for being fat; should pet owners be kicked off for being inconsiderate?

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Movie director Kevin Smith, known for the witty and obscene dialogue in movies he’s penned like Clerks, Chasing Amy and Dogma, was deemed a flight risk by a Southwest airlines pilot last weekend and ordered off the plane.

"I know I’m fat, but was Captain Leysath really justified in throwing me off a flight for which I was already seated?" he ranted through his Twitter account to over 1.6 million followers.. "Again: I’m way fat… But I’m not THERE just yet. But if I am, why wait til my bag is up, and I’m seated WITH ARM RESTS DOWN.”

Smith posted this pic of himself (above, right, exactly as shown) puffing out his cheeks and captioned it, "Look how fat I am on your plane! Quick! Throw me off!"

Another emerging issue on airplanes is those travelling with small pets.

An editorial in the current issue of the Canadian Medical Association Journal notes that air travel has become increasingly difficult, with tightened security restrictions and a decreased number of services. But now Air Canada is adding to the difficulty by allowing small pets to travel airplane cabins.

Pets can be accommodated comfortably and safely in airplane cargo holds, which is where they belong. Airlines must choose to put the needs of their human passengers first, or be forced to do so.

Flying should not include avoidable health risks, especially, for passengers with allergies to pets. Many people with allergies to animals will have a reaction when they’re trapped in an enclosed space, often for hours.

The Canadian Transportation Agency ruled that people allergic to nuts should be considered to have a disability under the Canada Transportation Act and must therefore be accommodated. The agency is now receiving passenger complaints about pets on airplanes and considering whether those with allergies to pets should also be considered as having a disability. Such a finding would force Canadian airlines to safeguard passengers with pet allergies.