Category Archives: Wacky and Weird

Coaching hockey, uni, what’s the difference

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Hello barfbloggers:

doug-hockey-goalieIt’s been a few of days since I’ve posted anything original – foodborne illnesses happens, kids have hockey awards banquets, I have to coach hockey and complete my level II coaching accreditation, but does anything really change?

And what is it about great leaders that can inspire change so people don’t barf so much?

I’ve done the level II hockey coaching before in Canada, about 15 years ago.

I’ve now done it Australia.

Both are as valid as food safety audits.

Yet the time — 27 hours for level II coach in Australia  – is an opportunity to reflect, to really think, how can coaches on a Sunday morning take 20 5-11-year-olds on half ice and make them engaged for 90 minutes (and then have to play a 60-minute game in the afternoon).

This is the shit they should be teaching profs, but don’t, they just pawn it off on grad students with no instruction manual.

And unis wonder why parents are pissed about fees.

When people ask me what I do, I say I used to be a food safety professor,I coach hockey. In Brisbane.

It took me awhile, but I’m glad Amy stuck with me and I made the move.

It wasn’t easy.

Neither is doing a Tony Esposito butterfly at 54.

I’ll be out with the 20-somethings full of testosterone (but not much skill) wed. night, and coaching the same crew sat. at 6 a.m.

That’s hockey times.

That’s how we roll.
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Beer for breakfast: Anthony Bourdain thinks love of craft beer is dumb and a return to Trump family values

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For our American friends who have reverted to times before sanitation and are having beer for breakfast – water would kill you – Anthony Bourdain says forget the craft beer:

blonde-beer-nov-17“I would say that the angriest critiques I get from people about shows are when I’m drinking whatever convenient cold beer is available in a particular place, and not drinking the best beer out there. You know, I haven’t made the effort to walk down the street 10 blocks to the microbrewery where they’re making some fucking Mumford and Sons IPA.”

“I like cold beer. And I like to have a good time. I don’t like to talk about beer, honestly. I don’t like to talk about wine. I like to drink beer. If you bring me a really good one, a good craft beer, I will enjoy it, and say so. But I’m not gonna analyze it.”

I’m not really into Bourdain or other celebrity chefs — if you think Trump is a low-water mark, what about the 200-year-old industry of food hucksterism and porn telling us what to consume — but I gotta agree with the beer thing.

I have an internal guffaw every time I see some hipster in Canada or Australia drinking Corona from Mexico, renowned for its drinking water quality. That’s why beer is made — to ferment all the nasty shit out of whatever water is around. It doesn’t need to be shipped halfway around the world.

You may also want to avoid the Original Brock St. Brewing Company brand Blonde Beer which has been recalled in Ontario because the cans have a tendency to swell and burst.

This recall was triggered by the company. The Canadian Food Inspection Agency (CFIA) is conducting a food safety investigation, which may lead to the recall of other products.

‘You are at your very best when things are worst’

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The 1984 movie Starman is one of my favorites, not because of the actors, who are all consistently great, but because of what it says about humanity and ice hockey (at least in mythologies): You are at your very best when things are worst.

canadian-border-patrol-trumpThe results of the U.S. election feel like awaiting the results of a group project in school: Amy and I did our part, but I think the rest of youse might have really fucked this up (modified from facebook).

What can be done to make this better?

Sure the Canadian immigration site has been collapsing all night, Australia is a long ways away, and those countries have their own problems.

But for now, at this moment, I’ll go back to the humanity of Starman, and tomorrow worry about how I will chat with my five daughters, the girls I coach in hockey, and people generally around the world who are writing and saying, WTF? How did a lying, misogynist, racist, financial idiot huckster and game show host win the U.S. presidency?

Mark Shermin: Have people from your world been here before?

Starman: Before? Yes. We are interested in your species.

Mark Shermin: You mean you’re some kind of anthropologist? Is that what you’re doing here? Just checking us out?

Starman: You are a strange species. Not like any other. And you’d be surprised how many there are. Intelligent but savage. Shall I tell you what I find beautiful about you? [Shermin nods] You are at your very best when things are worst.

Don’t eat poop: Texas cop edition

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A policeman in Texas has been sacked for allegedly giving a sandwich filled with feces to a homeless man.

matthew-luckhurst-san-antino-pd_650x400_81478532857Matthew Luckhurst, a San Antonio Police Department (SAPD) officer who had been on the force for five years, reportedly placed fecal matter between two pieces of bread and gave it to a homeless person.

“This was a vile and disgusting act that violates our guiding principles of ‘treating all with integrity’, compassion, fairness and respect,” SAPD Chief William McManus said in a statement.

“The fact that his fellow officers were so disgusted with his actions that they reported him to Internal Affairs demonstrates that this type of behavior will never be tolerated. The action of this one former officer in no way reflects the actions of all the other good men and women who respectfully serve this community,” he was quoted as saying by San Antonio Express-News.

The alleged incident occurred in May, when Officer Luckhurst bragged to a fellow officer that “he had picked up some feces, placed it in a slice of bread, and put it in a Styrofoam container next to the unknown homeless male”, a statement from the police chief’s office said.

“The officer reported that he told Luckhurst to go back and throw it away. The officer said he saw Luckhurst go back and he assumed that Luckhurst discarded the container,” it said.

The incident was reported to Internal Affairs in July. Police Department officials have been unable to locate the homeless man.

“Firing this officer was the right thing to do,” Mayor Ivy Taylor was quoted as saying.

Ben Sifuentes, Luckhurst’s attorney, said his client joked about giving an excrement sandwich to a homeless person but never actually did so.

A break and enter at a waste water treatment plant may result in E. coli

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I’m not sure why someone would want to break into a waste water treatment plant; maybe there are compounds that can be used to make meth (or I’ve watched too much Breaking Bad). According to WLWT, someone who broke into an Indiana facility might have also exposed themselves to a bunch of pathogenic E.coli.

Police say a burglar or burglars who entered a wastewater treatment plant in southeast Indiana should enter a doctor’s office soon.

Versailles police said that sometime late Saturday or early Sunday, someone broke into the plant, stole several items and vandalized other items.no_rough_stuff_-_walt_jesse

But the burglar or burglars may have taken something else with them, police said.

“During the burglary the suspect(s) came into contact with strains of E. coli that were in an incubator so they need to seek medical attention immediately!!” police said in a Facebook post.

It’s called barfblog: Valuable whale vomit found by fishers

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I dunno what the safety concerns might be if waxy whale vomit, known as ambergris, is incorporated as a flavoring for food; the vomit is largely used to create musk fragrances for perfumes. According to Deccan Herald, 80kg of the vomit treasure, worth $2.5 million was found by Omani fishers.

Khalid Al Sinani, who is in his late 30s, found floating “whale vomit” on the shores of Qurayat province last week.513ee279059eb5f958e29ab3238c9fa2

‘Whale vomit’ or Ambergris is a very costly wax that originates as a secretion in the intestines of the sperm whale. It can be found floating in tropical seas and is used in manufacture of perfume.

After 20 years of hand-to-mouth life as a fisherman, Khalid’s childhood dream of winning the sea lottery came true on the morning of October 30 when he, along with two of his friends, saw a mass of ambergris floating on the sea, releasing a nasty smell.

“We used a rope to collect it and carry it inside the boat,” Khalid was quoted as saying by the Times of Oman.

“I was told earlier that ambergris has an icky smell, but after a couple of days it imparts a pleasant scent. We rushed back to the beach with joy and happiness,” he said.

After keeping his valuable harvest in a box, he called some experts to identify the material.

“After we made sure it was ambergris, we started cutting it in order to dry and sell it later,” Khalid said.

“I’ll wait to see how this sale will go and later I’ll think of changing my career and enter the real-estate sector to live a better life,” he said.

Words matter and universities can suck: Benedict Cumberbatch reads a letter from Kurt Vonnegut

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My children speak harshly.

Because I did not want my daughters disadvantaged in any way in response to crude language.

They’re also good hockey players (where crude language rules).

At the 2014 ‘Letters Live’ event at the Hay Festival, Benedict Cumberbatch reads a letter by Kurt Vonnegut to a headmaster who had just burned all the copies of a particular book by Kurt in the school’s furnace.

 

UK boy vomits on stranger’s handbag during flight – mum ordered to pay silly amount

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I’d be a lousy surgeon.

I barf at the slightest provocation.

barfblog-tshirt-frontYet at other times I can completely keep it together.

Driving back from Florida, we were almost home and one of the kids barfed.

I lost it at the side of the road.

Yet another time, we flew back after a hurricane, and the kid lost it as we landed, I handled it like a pro, into the barf bag, off the plane and into the garbage.

Life is so uncertain..

Mumsnet user incognitoforonenight writes, “We were on a long haul flight and there was a lot of turbulence.”

“My son vomited everywhere halfway through flight. We cleared it all up. [An] hour later, the lady behind my seat says, ‘hope your son is OK, but he was sick and it’s on my handbag.'”

Naturally, both parents apologised to the lady. But it seems this wasn’t quite enough.

“She says, ‘no, it’s on my handbag, it’s very expensive and you need to get your insurance to pay for it to be repaired / cleaned.'”

The handbag in question was a Louis Vuitton worth £900.

The mum took photos of the bag, and added how the lady had in fact cleaned all the vomit off (which had pooled down to the floor). None remained on the bag. There was no visible damage.

However, the lady insisted “the smell was now ‘ingrained’ in the bag” and has since explained, via email, how Louis Vuitton cannot repair the bag – and the family are liable for a replacement.

Understandably, the mum has reservations.

“Surely, if you have a LV bag worth £900 you do not put it on the floor in an airplane, you’d put in the locker above your seat, especially if you are in an aisle seat

“We haven’t contacted our travel insurance yet, but thought I’d see what others thought. Should she have to contact her own travel insurance? I’m not sure what the ‘norm’ is in a situation like this.”

The responses have been overwhelmingly on the side of the mum.