I’m told by wiki that Towie – short for The Only Way is Essex – is the UK equivalent of The Hills and Jersey Shore.

I actually watched The Hills with one of my teenage daughters and a pregnant Amy when we were unexpectedly stranded in Florida as a hurricane approached.

The show was horrible.

But in the name of food safety, a Brentwood high street food outlet – once owned by former Towie star Charlie Sims – has been criticized in a food standards hygiene report.

Charlie’s Deli – which still holds the name of Charlie Sims who opened the eatery in 2014 but sold it at around Christmas – was given a score of just 1 during an inspection on January 18.

Among the work the inspector said was required was that food must be prepared properly.

A list of requirements was then handed to the eatery which read:

“Keep the rear door closed or fit pest-proof screens to the doorway.

“Do not cool food for longer than 90 minutes at room temperature.

“Provide suitable ventilation to the kitchen.

“Redecorate areas of worn paintwork to kitchen wall surfaces.

“Provide lids to kitchen bins or consider provision of waste bins.

“Provide soap and towels at kitchen wash basin.

“Provide soap at server wash basin.

“Gloss paint or varnish the unsealed wooden shelf above the kitchen wash hand basin.

“Thoroughly clean the work top fridge door handles and door handles.

“Gloss paint or varnish the wooden surface below the two microwave ovens.

“Replace the missing cover to the kitchen work top fridge motor.”

It’s all scripted for you, Charlie’s Deli, just like the reality shows.