I don’t golf anymore.

I like my wife.

But in August, 2005, during the halfway point of the annual International Association for Food Protection golf tournament in Baltimore, a burley, 50-ish goateed he-man requested his hamburger be cooked, “Bloody … with cheese.”

His sidekick piped up, “Me too.”

Our golf foursome of food safety types were alternately alarmed and amazed, but ultimately resigned to conclude that much of what passes for food safety advice falls on deaf ears.

I asked the kid flipping burgers if he had a meat thermometer.

He replied, snickering, “Yeah, this is a pretty high-tech operation.”

The young woman taking orders glanced about, and then confided that she didn’t think there was a meat thermometer anywhere in the kitchen; this, at a fancy golf course catering to weddings and other swanky functions along with grunts on the golf course.

The Kane County Health Department is investigating reports of possible food poisoning among people who ate at the Grumpy Goat Tavern in Elgin, officials said.

Seventeen people have reported suffering from “gastrointestinal disorders” after eating Saturday at the restaurant, located in The Highlands of Elgin golf course, as part of a golf outing, health department spokesman Tom Schlueter said. None were hospitalized “to my knowledge,” he said.

“There’s a possible food-borne outbreak in Elgin and we’re doing what we call ‘food investigation,’ and finding out what people ate and when they ate, and if they feel sick or if they’re not feeling sick,” he said.

Grumpy Goat Tavern owner Greg Shannon said he was aware of the situation. “The health department is handling everything — both the city’s health department and the Kane County Health Department,” he said. Shannon also owns Elgin Public House in downtown Elgin.