This is lunch with the ladies and their iPads on our balcony today (right, exactly as shown).

About an hour later, the U.S. Department of Agriculture sent out the exciting news they had hinted at in the twittershpere all morning: that the Ask Karen app is now available for the iPhone, iPad, and Android devices.

“The app is a mobile version of the existing Ask Karen site, a virtual food safety representative who offers advice about properly handling, storing, and preparing food to prevent illness.”

Can Karen tell me if the steak I bought has been needle tenderized and may possibly require a higher temperature for safety? Can Karen tell me how I can tell which produce at the supermarket has been grown under a rigorous food safety program? Can Karen tell me what eggs haven’t been produced next to eight-foot piles of chicken manure?

To start using Mobile Ask Karen now, go to m.AskKaren.gov on your phone’s browser.

No thanks.