Old question. I don’t need no stinkin’ iPhone, I haul my 17-inch MacBook Pro computer to the bathroom, as some started football quests observed on Sunday. Been doing it for a decade (thank you, wireless).

When Chapman first got a blackberry in 2005, he e-mailed me and proudly proclaimed, “I’m in the bathroom” (but not exactly like that).

A new study reveals that 27 per cent of Americans use their mobile devices to check Facebook while in the bathroom.

One commentator wrote, “Some people engage in personal reflection, others scribble on walls and some like to look at pictures of ex-girlfriends and wonder how things could have been. I say good for them. Enjoy your Poopbook.”

Me, I’m a bigger fan of clean sheets and working in bed.

As noted by Canadian comedy troupe Kids in the Hall long before these mobile devices became widely available (like the landline phones by the toilets in fancy hotel rooms) there’s nothing like clean sheets, a mug of cold beer on a hot day, and a good dump in the morning. These are some of life’s greatest contemplative moments and should be used to check e-mail. Or improve your putting. Whatever, just wash your damn hands.