One of my favorite songs of all time, Friday I’m in Love, by The Cure, pretty much states that Friday is the best most awesome day of the week. This is true, except for this past Friday, when my wife and I were woken up at 3 a.m. by a foul stench coming from our kitchen.

Our lovely puppy – 56-pound yellow lab – decided to go for an all-poop-that-you-can-eat buffet in our backyard, when she was just supposed to be frolicking and enjoying the cold weather after having dinner. So, if your dessert consists of poop, you will most likely barf it all out, unless you are a rabbit, in which case you are fine. That’s what our dog did. She barfed all that poop all over our kitchen floor.

The question is, besides whether you still love your dog or not, how to clean all that poop?

– If you own a pair of disposable or rubber gloves, now is a good time to put them on.

– Tie the dog outside somewhere, so that she won’t keep stepping on poop and spreading it.

– Remove the dog’s bed, which is covered in poop and place it in the washer, with detergent and if available, bleach.

– Collect excess poop with paper towels and put them in a leak-proof trash bag.

– Once all the excess is gone, spray everything with the disinfectant of your choosing.

– Wipe with paper towels and repeat.

I went a step further and cleaned the whole floor with a swiffer and bleach, and then I even polished it, just to try to get rid of the smell from my hardwood floor. By the time I was done cleaning this mess it was around 4 a.m.

Don’t eat poop. And wash your hands. Often.. Often, like this banner at 810 Zone in Kansas City states, means after every use of the bathroom, every time you touch raw foods, and every time you touch your pet or its food or its barf.