Like Stephen Colbert, I am surprised to know the N.Y. Times still exists in print, other than the weekly reminder I get to resubscribe for $0.99.

Their food content remains equally suspect.

Sam Sifton spent 1,600 words deconstructing the perfect burger, and never a mention of a thermometer. Here are the nosestrethers, and for those who like their food porn bloody, this article is for you.

“Simply grab a handful of beef and form it into a burger shape, then get it into the pan, season it and cook for about three minutes. Then turn it over and, if using, add cheese. The burger is done three to four minutes later for medium-rare.”

No verificatuion and medium-rare means nothing. All that matters is temperature.

“Better (and safer) to have a butcher grind your meat, asking for a coarse grind so that the ratio of meat to fat is clear to the eye.”

No evidence. It might feel better, but there is no microbiological data to suggest this approach is safer.

“In addition to concerns about the health risks associated with preground hamburger meat, there are culinary considerations as well.”

Food porn.