Parents are fascinated with baby poop and engage in Dickensonian descriptions with other people who don’t care.

Babies grow up and poop on the toilet: “Daddy, look at my enormous poop.”

As a four-year-old, Sorenne’s favorite saying, repeated about 10 times a day, seems to be, “I farted, excuse me.”

Once she hits puberty, this fascination will end, and I will be nothing more than an embarrassment.

As people age, poop again becomes conversational.

And then it’s Depends.

But leave it to the bacterially-adverse Japanese to develop smartphones that can control a toilet.

Created by Japanese company Lixil under its INAX brand of products, the Satis is a Bluetooth-capable commode that users can command via an Android app. The super-toilet enables hands-free flushing and toilet-seat lifting, among other actions, according to website Japan Trends.

Called “My Satis,” the app also lets users play music through the toilet’s speakers, and set up a toilet diary to monitor their regular washroom sessions.