Actor Paul Rudd read Letterman’s Top Ten list last night, in honor of a theatre-goer hurling from a balcony onto the Broadway patrons below.

10. “Is there a janitor in the house?”
9. “Not my worst review.”
8. “I’ve never been a fan of audience participation.”
7. “I was hoping for a standing ovation; instead I got projectile vomiting.”
6. “Who says the golden age of theater is dead?”
5. “You got to be kidding me. Right before my big vomiting scene?”
4. “I’ll never complain about a cell phone ringing again.”
3. “Up till now, I’ve never elicited more than a loud belch.”
2. “What is this? The Ed Sullivan Theater?”
1. “Guess I’m not the only one who’s drunk.”