It’s hamburger porn season, even in Sydney, and the advice is worse than ever.

I have low expectations of Rachel Ray and other celebtards; the N.Y. Times has now continued its long history of food safety fashion over facts by promoting the finger-the-meat method of determining whether meat is cooked.

From a previous article, recycled in the terrible Times piece, about how to test for raw: Open the palm of your hand. Relax the hand. Take the index finger of your other hand and push on the fleshy area between the thumb and the base of the palm. Make sure your hand is relaxed. This is what raw meat feels like.

Newspapers are rapidly irrelevant. This is what Johnny Cash and I think about fingering your meat (below). Stick it in. Use a thermometer.