I used to think Hell was a continuous loop of Entertainment E-News or Leonard Cohen songs.

Now I’m convinced it’s a continuous loop of any show on Bravo.

I go to sleep early; Amy winds down by watching bad TV on the computer, including the Real Housewives of Anywhere, and Millionaire Matchmaker (optimistic bias?).

On a possibly recent episode, Patti the Matchmaker introduces Z-list actress Tori Spelling as a woman who has it all and evidence that women can do it all.

Tori plays faux homemaker for Patti and the douchebag-looing-for-a-mommy woman, baking some stuff, and inviting the guests to sit down, asking, “do you mind sitting at a table with a chicken?”

While the people engage in some horrible banter, the chicken is walking around the table, munching on biscuits, and acting like it owns the place.

T-list Tori has flashed her poultry before, and was involved in a dubious promotion of soft-serve ice-cream for expectant women at Baskin Robbins in 2008.