Who demonstrates temping a hamburger with oversized novelty thermometers, indoors, with the hamburger patty already encased with all the condiments and a bun?

U.S. Department of Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack.

That’s Vilsack, below, in a picture the USDA communication types decided to twitter with the tweet, “Which burger is a safe 165F? Sec Vilsack tests the temp w/ a food therm on #USDAFSDZ, Dr. Hagen watches.”

I want to see Sec. Vilsack temping hamburger patties at a grill, using tongs and a real tip-sensitive, digital thermometer, wearing a kiss-the-cook apron and a Herb-Tarlek grin.

Or a Mr. Bubble shirt.