CBS Sunday Morning had a bit on 85-year-old Dick Van Dyke, still singing and dancing and acting his way into our hearts.

And all I could think of was piping hot.

The Brits, not ones to disappoint, issued their annual holiday turkey advice today, with nary a mention of thermometers.

“The Food Standards Agency is reminding people to follow some simple safety steps this Christmas when preparing their turkeys, to help keep the festive period free from the misery of food poisoning.”

If it was only so simple.

FSA gets it right when they say,

* Don’t wash your turkey before cooking. Washing is more likely to splash food bugs on to worktops, dishes and other foods. Proper cooking will kill bugs.

And they get it wrong when they say,

* Check the turkey is cooked properly by cutting into the thickest part of the meat. None of the meat should still be pink and any juices that run out should be clear. Finally, the meat should be steaming hot all the way through.

That’s what the gravy is for. Use a tip-sensitive digital thermometer, and stick it in. 165F is sufficient.