Oregon seems like a lovely place. Never been, although the sense of dopiness in the state has apparently gotten so bad that the state Department of Agriculture has to allocate resources to a public awareness campaign to remind Oregonians it’s illegal for dogs to enter grocery stores – unless it’s a service dog.

Vance Bybee, administrator of the agency’s Food Safety Division, told the Charleston Daily Mail,

"There’s a trend, a growing trend, for people to treat their pets like a member of the family, but they forget we still have to draw the line between our furry children and those without paws.”

Is he talking about my hairy baby? Is he discriminating against children with paws? This is probably the worst attempt at being cute in a quote — ever.

"Interestingly enough, we get more complaints in Bend and in the Pearl District of Portland where people are more affluent and have the opportunity to pamper their pets and feel this pet is a part of my family so I am entitled to do with it what I like."

Bybee said the division gets more than 100 complaints a year about dogs doing inappropriate things in grocery stores, from urinating in the aisles to sniffing and licking food. The Portland Farmers Market banned dogs earlier this year because vendors and shoppers complained about sanitation, safety and crowding. One vendor lost a sandwich to a dog, and one customer who got tangled in a leash had to be taken to the hospital.