Catherine Zeta-Jones gives good garnish.

After working undercover for a week at a posh Manhattan restaurant in preparation for an upcoming role, the owner told People magazine that Zeta-Jones was, "a great garnisher. Drizzling oil and balsamic on plates – she does a nice job."

I wrote that two years ago, but now that the movie, No Reservations, is in heavy rotation on the movie channels (always on in the background) I can finish the story.

Two years ago I had my own Manhattan garnish moment — Manhattan, Kansas.

Amy took me to one of those food porn places, where the presentation of the food is sometimes more important than the basics; the kind of place populated by the Matt Dillon character from Saturday Night Live who wrote a book, How to Order Sushi Like a CEO.

The bathrooms in the place accommodate only one person, so I was left standing outside the door. I heard the toilet flush and the door open; out walked the chef; no handwashing.

Amy spent the rest of the night watching the chef, to see what he would touch next. We haven’t been back.

A little more food safety, a little less food porn.