The first time I met Amy, at a Canadian studies club meeting at Kansas State, I told Amy the French professor that French food was overrated and that sleeping with her cocker spaniel was a microbiological hazard.

She asked me out anyway.

Today we walked up to school and Sadie, the dog that saved our relationship, had a dump. And then there was this worm-like turd hanging out of her ass.

I thought and hoped and prayed it would go away.

It didn’t.
So I grabbed a stick and tried to knock the poop off her ass.

No luck.

So Amy gave me a tissue  and I pulled the hanging turd out of her ass and there was another six inches of stick that came out.

Gross. Like when my daughter Courtlynn hurled as the plane landed in Atlanta – those airplane barf bags are fairly solid and I got it in time.

I really just needed a break from writing about the shit that is listeria in Canada.