The Toronto Globe and Mail used to be a decent newspaper. I was enamored with the paper and its journalists as a genetics undergrad, was thrilled when I started writing regularly for the paper in the 1990s, and then dismayed as the amount of crap published began to far outweigh the thoughtful stuf.

Once such sign of decline was the hiring of columnist Leah McLaren about a decade ago. Chapman was somewhat enamored with her self-indulgent depictions of young female life in hip Toronto; I thought it was bullshit.

Leah is still at the Globe as it continues its drawn-out decline, and wrote on Saturday that,

“This year for Christmas I poisoned the in-laws.

“They had flown all the way from Toronto to spend the holidays in London, dragging several extra bags of gifts across the Atlantic like a modern-day Santa and Mrs. Claus. In return, I had planned a feast for dinner.

"The centrepiece of the meal was a beautifully aged prime rib roast. I had purchased it, for nearly $100, from my local Notting Hill butcher, who specializes in organic, free-range, ethically farmed beef, lamb and poultry.

"I don't eat much meat these days, but everything about that shop made me feel safe, from the quaint striped awning to the well-heeled locals queuing up for their premium giblets to the butcher with his starched, white-linen apron making small talk as he trimmed the leg of lamb. Even the store's slogan ("Real meat naturally fed") was heartening. What could possibly be more healthy, comforting or downright trendy than a rib roast for Christmas? As I stepped out of the shop with my several pounds of Grade A flesh in hand, I was determined to follow the butcher's emphatic instructions: "Do not overcook."

"And I didn't. The prime rib was perfect - except for the 36 hours of stomach-churning misery it caused everyone who ate it."

Leah’s lesson from all this? Don’t eat red meat.

One Moses Shuldiner responded with a letter in the Globe today, stating that Leah’s “mistake was to not inform herself of proper food handling techniques as recommended by the Toronto Public Health Department, which can be downloaded from the City of Toronto's website. … After reading information from public health anyone can, for a nominal fee, write the test to become a certified food handler, ensuring mastery of the material.”

Shill. Mere mortals do not have to become certified food handlers to cook dinner for the in-laws, or anyone else. I cooked lamb on Christmas Eve and my 1-year-old ate it. No one barfed. Use a tip-sensitive digital meat thermometer. Next time, Leah, stick it in.

I like potlucks because of the social interaction and sampling different kinds of foods.

I don’t like potlucks because who knows how various dishes are prepared, how they’ve been stored, and the dreaded double dipping.

I told Erin Quinn of the Waco Tribune-Herald in Texas Monday that,

Maybe you don’t want to eat the turkey noodle casserole made in the kitchen of the woman who you notice never washes her hands before leaving the bathroom.

And maybe you should avoid the pumpkin cheesecake brought by the guy whose shirts are always covered with cat hair.

“There is a lot of blind trust in it. Potlucks are really popular because they bring people together and do a lot of good things. But all of that fellowship can turn into a lot of sick people.”

Powell recommends bringing a digital thermometer to potluck parties. He jokes that this is the reason he is hardly invited to potluck parties.

Still, he said these parties are not inherently riskier than eating at restaurants. And most people, he said, wash their hands properly, have clean kitchens and cook food at the proper temperature.

Allison Lowery, a spokeswoman for the Texas Department of State Health Services, said she, herself, eats at potlucks and is not too concerned about any risks.

“You can’t go around being scared of everything. You’ve just got to have faith.”

The last thing I want to do is shut a restaurant down during the Christmas season but when one encounters multiple critical food violations, my hands are tied. An immediate closure was issued on a local restaurant due to improper food holding temperatures, inadequate dishwashing as pots/pans were merely rinsed with water, potential cross contamination issues in the cooler, and the list continues. It is important to note that there was a manger on duty that had successfully completed the food handlers’ course and would therefore in theory be aware of these critical issues. At any rate, I rolled up my sleeves, threw on my hair net and proceeded to physically show the foodservice staff how to properly wash pots/pans via the 3 compartment sink method. Also went over ice baths to rapidly cool foods, preparing sanitizer solutions, and how to use a digital tip sensitive thermometer, supplied by me of course because they didn’t have one. After training on-site, it was up to the staff to show me what they have learned without sitting down and writing an exam, which I feel is pointless.

            A number of Health Departments are consistently struggling with staffing issues resulting in less than par health inspections. I would rather spend the time and perform a quality health inspection by incorporating on-site training rather than being concerned with the quantity of restaurants inspected. 

The idea of Chapman calling others amateurs is amusing.

P.J. O’Rourke wrote a National Lampoon column about how amateur drunks throw up on other people’s shoes. In Champan’s case, it would be other people’s rose bushes. That’s us, in 2000, at my house in Guelph. He barfed in the bushes.

But Chapman, food safety specialist and assistant professor of food science at North Carolina State University, did get quoted by a paper in Nebraska today saying,

"The biggest risk comes from undercooking. Color is not an indicator of safety or doneness. We see suggestions in recipes about making sure 'the juices run clear' but that's a myth. You also have to worry about cross-contamination -- which can happen when countertops, sinks or utensils aren't being cleaned properly between use with raw meats and other foods."

And this was Chapman last weekend tailgating at the Kansas State football game. We left early because he had digestive upsets. Amateur.