Movie director Kevin Smith, known for the witty and obscene dialogue in movies he’s penned like Clerks, Chasing Amy and Dogma, was deemed a flight risk by a Southwest airlines pilot last weekend and ordered off the plane.

"I know I'm fat, but was Captain Leysath really justified in throwing me off a flight for which I was already seated?" he ranted through his Twitter account to over 1.6 million followers.. "Again: I'm way fat... But I'm not THERE just yet. But if I am, why wait til my bag is up, and I'm seated WITH ARM RESTS DOWN.”

Smith posted this pic of himself (above, right, exactly as shown) puffing out his cheeks and captioned it, "Look how fat I am on your plane! Quick! Throw me off!"

Another emerging issue on airplanes is those travelling with small pets.

An editorial in the current issue of the Canadian Medical Association Journal notes that air travel has become increasingly difficult, with tightened security restrictions and a decreased number of services. But now Air Canada is adding to the difficulty by allowing small pets to travel airplane cabins.

Pets can be accommodated comfortably and safely in airplane cargo holds, which is where they belong. Airlines must choose to put the needs of their human passengers first, or be forced to do so.

Flying should not include avoidable health risks, especially, for passengers with allergies to pets. Many people with allergies to animals will have a reaction when they're trapped in an enclosed space, often for hours.

The Canadian Transportation Agency ruled that people allergic to nuts should be considered to have a disability under the Canada Transportation Act and must therefore be accommodated. The agency is now receiving passenger complaints about pets on airplanes and considering whether those with allergies to pets should also be considered as having a disability. Such a finding would force Canadian airlines to safeguard passengers with pet allergies.
 

The hottest word (in my opinion) of 2009: wal-creature. If you’re a late night Wal-Mart shopper like me (I’d rather avoid the daytime crowd), then there’s a pretty good chance that you’ve come across one. A wal-creature is anyone shopping at Wal-Mart wearing outlandish or ridiculous clothing, whether it be too tight or blindingly bright. A wal-creature could be Mimi from Drew Carey. Wal-creatures may be encountered in real life, but more often are photographed and put up on one of my favorite sites: peopleofwalmart.com. The site has daily updates with pictures and captions of the craziest people spotted in Wal-Mart. 

First off, I’m pretty surprised that some of these people leave their house dressed as they are. Secondly, I can’t believe how many of these people have been photographed in the store with animals. There aren’t too many Wal-Marts around without a food section, so there’s a very good chance that these animals have accompanied their owners on that side of the store. Peopleofwalmart.com includes photos of wal-creatures with monkeys (2 of them), raccoons, snakes, pigs, and even macaws.

In my opinion, the photo with the macaw is the most disturbing. The caption says it best: “Oh no Ms., it’s cool, I love stepping in parrot sh*t whenever I’m buying celery. Nothing says sanitary like a parrot in the produce section…” I cannot believe this lady got away with bringing a giant Salmonella factory into the produce section of a grocery store. I’m a big proponent of service dogs – dogs only. This bird’s rectum is pointed precariously close to the cases of strawberries. Unfortunately the manager at the store couldn’t have done anything about it (whether he was aware of the bird in the store or not). Laws are in place to protect disabled people with service animals from being asked to leave stores. Managers are not even allowed to ask what their disability is (which isn’t overly apparent in this situation) and disabled patrons are not required to show documentation for their service animals. I wish this could be regulated somehow because I have suspicions that the bird isn’t a real service animal, instead it’s just a pet.

Pets in grocery stores gross me out and tick me off. Wal-creatures just scare me.

The cafeteria food fight, as immortalized in the 1978 film, Animal House, has become a high school rite of passage.

Except in Chicago (home to John Belushi, right)

The New York Times reports this morning that 25  students, ages 11 to 15, were rounded up, arrested, taken from school and put in jail on charges of reckless conduct, a misdemeanor, after a food fight at the middle-school campus of Perspectives Charter Schools, in the Gresham neighborhood on the South Side.

That was last Thursday afternoon. Now parents are questioning what seem to them like the criminalization of age-old adolescent pranks, and the lasting legal and psychological impact of the arrests.

“My children have to appear in court,” Erica Russell, the mother of two eighth-grade girls who spent eight hours in jail, said Tuesday. “They were handcuffed, slammed in a wagon, had their mug shots taken and treated like real criminals.”

 

When I first opened the Kansas State Collegian yesterday morning, the following headline popped out: “Green, pet-friendly bar opens in Aggieville.” The story started:

“Tail wagging, mouth drooling, riled up with excitement stands Tank the dog, welcoming bar patrons this Saturday to the newly renovated the Loft Bar and Grill.”

The owner added,

“We will be having many different types of animals outside the Loft — dogs, goats and even miniature Clydesdales.” Jacobson said. “Our bar is very pet-friendly.”

Actually, the Kansas Food Code prohibits animals on food establishments, unless they are assistance animals, according to code reference 6-501.115 found here.

Did Jackson read over the Food Code before opening his restaurant? Maybe he’s a rebel, or is he just playing it dumb?

The local health department inspectors would consider bringing pets to a restaurant a critical violation. Last year, Tanks Tavern, also in Aggieville, was cited two critical violations including: “live dog in bar and dog food stored under sink.”

As Amy and Doug wrote, “tripping, biting, dog fights, barking, allergies, and the transfer of dangerous microorganisms such as E. coli, salmonella and cryptosporidium” are some of the risks that come along with doggie dining.

Restaurants in Florida can apply for permits to allow dogs on their patio, if they meet certain conditions. Employees must not touch pets while handling food, and if they do, they must wash their hands. Customers should also wash their hands before eating and keep their pets off tables, chairs, and tables.

As far as I know, we are still in Kansas, where doggie dining is clearly prohibited.

These are my puppies: